"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour."

From "Auguries of Innocence"

by William Blake

Thursday, 24 May 2018

Saying Goodbye to my Mum

My mum, aged 92, sadly passed away a few weeks ago and yesterday we said our final goodbyes. She had been suffering from advanced alzheimer's in a nursing home for the last six years. The Humanist Minister who conducted the service was excellent and gave us a very moving celebration of my mum's life which was just what I had hoped for. I came away from the service remembering her as she was when she was well and healthy.

Mum always used to say how much she loved the posies of flowers I used to pick her when I was a little girl so I picked a posy from the garden, including as many wild flowers as I could find, and took it with me wrapped up in butterfly tissue paper and lace to set alongside the more formal wreath we had ordered.

This is a photo my son took of mum when we took her for a day out - from memory I think it was Packwood House

And a couple of photos from my wedding the first one of my husband and I and mum and dad. Mum in this picture was about 10 years younger than I am now!

Mum was the sweetest natured lady you could ever wish to meet and was always there for the whole family. She loved bluebells so I have included one of my favourite photos taken a few years ago at Ryton Woods.


Bovey Belle said...

What a lovely tribute to your mum RR. She looks and sounds to have been a lovely lady and great mum, and how sad that special person was taken away before the end by Alzheimers.

I think you remembered her so wonderfully - everything she would have enjoyed had she been there herself, especially that lovely little posy.

What beautiful bluebells too.

Thinking of you.

David Gascoigne said...

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother. You heartfelt tribute is lovely and I am glad that you are celebrating and remembering all the good things in her life, and the joy you had together. The end must come for all of us and if people remember us fondly that is about all we can hope for.

Toffeeapple said...

That's a very fitting tribute Caroline, remembering her in the good times. I am sorry for your loss.

Springinsfeld said...

My sincere condolences. It sounds as if the minister did just the job so you will all remember your Mum as she would have wished. Lovely posy and wedding photos as well.

Countryside Tales said...

I’m so sorry. The flowers are beautiful x

Chris Rohrer said...

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry. She was such a beautiful woman. I love her hat in your wedding picture. Hugs to you during this time of farewells. Chris

hart said...

Nice tribute to your mother.

Ragged Robin said...

Thanks so much to you all for your very kind comments and condolences. I am very touched.

Bovey Belle - Thank you so much. Alzheimer's is an awful disease and it has not been easy over the last 2 or 3 years especially as she got so much worse so I am relieved now that after yesterday I am starting to remember her as she was before she became so ill and also to feel that she is now at peace.

David Gascoigne - Thank you so much. She has given myself and other members of the family many many happy memories.

Toffeeapple - Thank you so much for your very kind words.

Springinsfeld - Thank you - that is so kind. My husband's mother passed away late last year and I was so impressed with the humanist minister that conducted the service I was determined to ask him to do the same for my mum. He really does do his homework and makes it so personal and special.

Countryside Tales - Thank you so much for the kind words.

Chris Rohrer - Thank you so much for your lovely words. She always loved that hat!! :)

Hart - Thank you so much.

Dean Stables said...

Sorry to hear of your loss Caroline and what a beautiful gesture to include that wee posy, so fitting.

Rosie said...

So sorry to read your news but what a wonderful tribute you have written here for your Mum and what a lovely lady she looks in your photos. The wildflower posy and bluebells are lovely. Take carexx

Pam said...

What a lovely tribute to your mum, the posy is gorgeous and seems perfect xx

Ragged Robin said...

Dean Stables - Thanks so much Dean. To be honest I was a bit unsure about the posy but it was something I really wanted to do and I was glad after I had gone ahead with it.

Rosie - Thanks very much Rosie. She will be sorely missed as a mum and grandmother.

Pam - Thank you so much - she would have liked the posy I am sure.

Caroline Gill said...

Oh, RR, I am so sorry to read that you lost your Mum recently. How I feel for you - and for you all. What beautiful photos you have posted of those happy days with her. I hope it may perhaps be a bit easier now - or in time - to recall and treasure these moments to the full. What a lovely photo, too, of your Mum in the gardens. I'm so glad you picked the posy, including wild flowers: it made such a lovely tribute. I always recall the song we sang in junior school, 'Daisies are our silver, buttercups our gold...' Thinking of you so much ...

Ragged Robin said...

Caroline Gill - Thank you so much for your very kind words. I hope it doesn't sound awful when I say I am relieved she is no longer suffering and is at peace - she has had no quality of life for the last two or three years and visiting her has been heartbreaking. When someone is suffering so badly from alzheimer's you tend to grieve for them over the years as they get worse. Looking at old photos of her and the funeral service has helped me to remember how she was when she was well.

I was glad I had picked the posy - it was an idea I had just a couple of days before the funeral when I remembered how much she used to love the posies I picked. Those are lovely words from the song at your junior school.

Deborah O'Brien said...

My heartfelt sympathy. I weep with you, for words will never be enough to express how sorry I am for your sadness, for I feel it too, as it is the same sadness I am going through as I watch my own Mum slowly slip away at the hands of this most cruel of diseases. What a lovely tribute you have written for your beloved Mum whose suffering is now over. May you begin to find your own peace in time, and treasure those happy memories of the time when she was well. Sending light and healing love.

Ragged Robin said...

Deborah O'Brien - Thank you so much Deborah for your very kind words. I so very very sorry to hear that your mum is suffering from the same disease and I know exactly what you are going through - it is so very cruel and you feel so very helpless. Words cannot express what it is like to gradually lose someone you love as they lose their memories and personality over their last few years.
Thank you for your very kind thoughts and good wishes. I send light and healing love to you too as you watch over your mum. My thoughts are with you. Caroline

CherryPie said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. This is a lovely tribute to your mother

Thinking of you at this sad time xx

Ragged Robin said...

CherryPie - Thank you so much for your kind words.